I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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