the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
