I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
