Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
