Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
