Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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