You don't have asthma, your pregnant
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
