It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
you are never too drunk for berry picking
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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