ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I don't deserve a penis
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
