I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
