Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
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