I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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