4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
