Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Randomize
