just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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