Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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