You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
