did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
