THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
