In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
