HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
