Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
