Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I love you. Go after that dick
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
