my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
