Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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