Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize