that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
