do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
