I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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