I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
