Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
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