lets start a swedish sibling band together
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
