If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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