I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
