At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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