You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
