does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
