i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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