Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
