I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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