This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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