What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
