Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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