he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
