I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
