grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
