ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
