seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
