Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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