he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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