Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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